When it comes to bitterness, here are two things you need to keep in mind: (1) It is contagious. You are a part of the body of Christ. So what happens to you, and in you, affects those you are connected to both positively and negatively. The Bible says, “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it” (1Co 12:26 NIV). A snakebite doesn’t just affect the body part that gets bitten; the venom spreads through the entire system. “Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time” (Heb 12:15 TM). Don’t get upset and leave the church God has placed you in. You need them and they need you. By overcoming bitterness you spread God’s blessing to others. (2) It can be overcome. Here’s how: (a) Acknowledge and admit it. (b) Don’t rehearse it in your mind or recite it to others. (c) Repent and renounce any attitude that’s not Christ-like. (d) Ask God to give you self-control, then submit to His leadership. (e) Don’t infect others and don’t let them infect you. (f) Without waiting for admissions or apologies, verbalize to yourself, God and a trusted friend, your decision to forgive all wrongs against you. “Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you” (Eph 4:32 TM). This will set you free to enjoy your relationship with God, yourself, and others. (g) Look for practical ways to “be kind…[and] tenderhearted” toward those who hurt you (v. 32 NKJV). 

There’s a legend about a soldier being court-martialed before Alexander the Great. Believing the verdict was unjust, the soldier asked to appeal it. The conqueror informed him that there was no one higher to whom he could plead his case. “In that case,” the soldier replied, “I appeal my case from Alexander the Small, to Alexander the Great.” In each of us there is a lesser self and a greater self struggling for supremacy. Your lesser self says, “Not enough people believe in me. I’ll never make it.” Your greater self says, “My faith in God and in myself is enough; I can make it.” Your lesser self says, “It’s taking too long to realize my dream.” Your greater self says, “Dreams are realized one day at a time.” Your lesser self says, “Enough is enough! I’ve taken too many hits.” Your greater self says, “I’ve come too far to give up now.” Your lesser self says, “I don’t have the strength to hold on to my dream.” Your greater self says, “Hold on a little longer; the darkest hour is just before the dawn.” After speaking about being shipwrecked, stoned, imprisoned, betrayed, hungry, thirsty, sleepless, cold and naked, Paul, who was resolute in his purpose and relentless in the pursuit of it, writes: “Who is weak, and I am not weak” (2Co 11:29 NKJV). Where does that kind of strength and tenacity come from? God! The assignment God gives you will never be greater than the grace He provides. So draw on His strength, keep pressing ahead, pursue your goal and you will prevail. 

One of the great themes of the Bible is—perseverance. Paul, who refused to quit, wrote: “Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The great majority of men are bundles of beginnings.” Are you merely a starter, or are you also a finisher? When the enthusiasm for a new idea fades, when the odds against you increase and the results diminish, when it looks as if success is impossible, you must keep forging ahead. Admiral Robert Peary attempted to reach the North Pole seven times before he finally succeeded. Oscar Hammerstein produced five shows on Broadway that were flops before staging Oklahoma, which was seen by almost five million people during a record-breaking run of 2,212 performances. Quitting is more about who you are, than where you are or what you’re up against. We all have our excuses. The truth is, external things don’t stop us; it’s what happens to us on the inside! Most of us stop ourselves from reaching our potential. We can pretend that people, things, and situations outside of ourselves are to blame, but in reality most failures are just the result of a lack of bulldog-like tenacity. Leonardo da Vinci said, “Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed on a star, does not change his mind.” You must have a mindset to tenaciously pursue your dream. The only guarantee for failure is to stop trying. There is no insurmountable barrier, except your own inherent lack of purpose and persistence. 

Author Philip Yancey writes, “On my first visit to Yellowstone National Park flocks of tourists surrounded the geyser, Old Faithful, cameras trained like weapons, while a big digital clock predicted the next eruption. We were in the dining room of the inn overlooking the geyser when the clock showed one minute to go. So along with every other diner, we rushed to the window to see the big event. We ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’ and clicked our cameras; some even applauded. But glancing back I noticed that not a single waiter or busboy even bothered to look up. Old Faithful had become so familiar that it had lost its power to impress them.” So here’s the question: Why do we lose our sense of gratitude and begin to overlook God’s goodness? For three reasons: 

• (1) Problems. If you close one eye and hold a penny close enough to your other eye, you can actually block out the light of the sun. Getting the point?
• (2) Pressures. Sometimes the perks we thought would bring us pleasure end up wearing us down. 
• (3) People. When they disappoint us we turn sour and forget all that God has done for us. What’s the solution? “The [unfailing] love of the Lord never ends…Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning” (Lam 3:22-23 NLT). God’s mercies begin each morning, and your gratitude should too. Indeed, your days should be saturated in it. Continual gratitude comes from looking beyond your blessings to their unfailing source, the Lord. His love, His faithfulness and His mercy are already at work when your eyes open each day. 

Have you read the story of Isaac blessing his two sons when he was old, almost blind, and nearing death (See Ge 27)? When Jacob, the younger son, wanted his older brother Esau’s part of the family inheritance, which was twice as much, his mother Rebekah helped him steal it. Here’s how she did it. Esau was hairy and Jacob had smooth skin. So Rebekah wrapped Jacob’s arms and neck in goat hair and gave him some of Esau’s clothes to wear. When Jacob went in to his aging father pretending to be Esau, his father asked him to come near so that he could feel him. His father told him that he sounded like Jacob but he felt like Esau, so he decided to trust what he felt over what he heard. As a result, he gave the birthright that was destined for his firstborn, Esau, to his second-born son, Jacob. Bottom line: he was deceived by what he felt. Now we know God was at work in all this. But the point here is, you can’t always trust your feelings because they don’t always line up with God’s Word and they can deceive you. You say, “I got my feelings hurt so I haven’t spoken to my family in over a year.” Get over it! Learn to forgive. Refuse to remain offended. Practice love. If you let feelings rule your life they will mess you up. Feelings are like spoiled children: the more you indulge them the more they will control you. You shouldn’t suppress your feelings or deny them, but you must not be led by them.